What details go with our anniversary

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Wedding Anniversary Etiquette – What… ; Frequently Asked Questions

Q.What is my Wedding Anniversary symbol or material?

A.If you know how many years you have been married or are planning to celebrate then you can find out what you anniversary is from our anniversary selector page. All those that have a traditional symbol or material associated against the year are listed here.

Q.I forgot my Wedding anniversary this year what should I do?

A. If your partner is upset by this then we would recommend a period of grovelling followed by a period of penance !!  In this day and age it is often easy to forget important days such as Anniversaries by all means use our reminder to help you remember and it is provided only for this purpose.

Q.What are the Anniversaries that are considered major? The most major anniversaries are the 25th and 50th, after these come 60th & 75th and then every 5th year (i.e. 5th,10th 15th etc.) with every 10th year being more important than every 5th year.

Q.Hi, I’m doing research on the wedding anniversary materials. What I’m really looking for is what each material means. Do they represent something in each year. Please email me back if you have any information about the subject, or where I can find this kind of information. Thank you.

A. I’m afraid I can’t help you in your search for the meanings of the material against the Anniversary. The closest I have come to this is the suggestion that the materials are
selected in the order that they would wear out. I have however never had this collaborated by any research I have carried out.

Q. It will be my in laws 40th wedding anniversary.  What can I do to make it special and inexpensive?

A. Try our Thoughtful Anniversary Gift Ideas Suggestions

Q. My problem is that I don’t know exactly what our children are doing for us…we do know they are having some kind of a celebration but we do not know the particulars.  SO, we want to be ready for what ever comes up and not have “egg on our face”.   I told them what ever they did, please state “No Gifts Please”. An invitation to
a celebration does not confer an expectation that gifts are expected the persons company is considered gift enough.

Q. Please help us find the right motif colour for the 65th wedding anniversary of our grandparents.  A. I afraid I cannot help you with your question either as I have not been able to find much details on
the 65th anniversary. Most lists miss out the 65th for some reason I have yet to discover. The only list I have found which contains a material for the 65th is the Gem stone list which states Star Sapphire as the Gem Stone associated with this Anniversary.

Q. What do you do for the 100th year Anniversary? A. A 100th Wedding Anniversary is a 10 carat Diamond anniversary and I would be
surprised to hear of couple achieving this feat. I assume you are talking about a company’s Centenary celebration which is slightly different although it is still called a Diamond Anniversary.

Q. I am giving my parents a surprise 25th anniversary party but I have a concern regarding gifts. my mother hates silver! what are some optional gifts i could suggest?

A. I’m afraid I can’t help you much on this one, all roads seem to lead to Silver on this
anniversary. I thought that the Gem list for anniversaries may show a different material however this was sterling silver.  One thing you could do is recreate the era when they got married and theme gifts on that era. I make it the 70’s which would either be the Glam
Rock era or early Disco!

Q. We are giving our parents a 50th Anniversary and would like to know what we should call the female and male witnesses – attendant and grooms-man?

A. Most references refer to them as witnesses, which is not a bad term in itself as this is mentioned right back to the birth of marriage ceremonies. If they did some other function at
the wedding then these titles would also do.

Q. Is there a traditional colour for the bride of 50 years to wear?

A. As it is the Golden Anniversary the colour is Gold, this doesn’t mean that the outfit has to be all gold you could choose just accessories or anywhere in between. One thing to remember however; is that it is your anniversary and thus etiquette allows you to decide what you
want to wear and how you would like to celebrate.

Q. If one of the children make a speech, what response and toasts, if any, should the parents make?

A. The replies you give to any speeches made are very dependant upon your family circle & culture; this makes this a difficult question to answer with certainty. Typically anniversary speeches follow along similar lines to a wedding celebration and thus thanking those who organized the event and for the people who turned up to join you in your celebration.
One thing to bare in mind is that it is your anniversary and thus you can choose how to respond.

Q. What is the proper way to ask for monetary gifts on an invitation for my parents 40th wedding anniversary. They do not want to offend anyone by asking. How can this be placed on the invitation in a nice manner.

A. It’s extremely difficult to ask for money on an invitation, most reference books on Anniversary Etiquette say that you should never ask for a monetary gift.  One way I’ve seen round this and was successful was to put on the invitation the reason for money, e.g. They are saving for a holiday of a lifetime or what ever the reason and that should you wish to contribute to this then there will be a collection box at the celebration that they can
contribute. At the particular event I attended the box was placed prominently but discreetly in a corner of the room and thus you did not feel you had to contribute.

Q. I was just wondering what the 100th anniversary is.  Any information you could provide would be helpful. A. The 100th Wedding Anniversary is deemed a 10 Carat Diamond Anniversary, if it is a business celebration then it is just a centenary celebration.

Who gets involved in a Wedding Anniversary

Wedding Anniversary Etiquette – Who; Frequently Asked Questions

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Q. My Parents/ Friends Anniversary is coming up should I help them celebrate it?

A. This is a matter of judgement, if you think they would appreciate the thought then by all means celebrate the anniversary in a suitable fashion. The early Wedding Anniversaries are traditionally celebrated by the couples only although a card from friends and relatives is often a nice thought. From the 15th Anniversary onward, historically, they would also start to be celebrated within the family. This I would suggest has developed with the siblings of a couple becoming aware as they got older of their parents marriage and the important
role this took within the family.

Q. It’s a major anniversary for my parents what can I do that’s special ?

A. If they are celebrating their 60th or greater then you can arrange a greeting from the Queen if you are an Commonwealth citizen who recognises the Queen as your sovereign. Greetings can be sent for the 60th Wedding Anniversary and every subsequent year. Your request must be received at Kensington Palace six (6) weeks in advance of the event date. Follow the link to find the full instructions. Official Greetings

Q Does the couple the party is being given for give speeches?

A. With speeches it is down to the type of celebration the couple are holding, if they are having a repeat wedding breakfast then a formal speech would be expected. If they were having an informal party then an informal speech would be appropriate. Typically a speech of some type would be expected.

Q. As far as a speech is concerned, I guess we will just play that by ear and use common sense if and when the time comes that a speech is to be made…and should it be made by both partners or by just one???  I don’t know if
this is going to be “fun” or not.

A. One thing to remember is it is you & your Husband’s Anniversary and hence however you choose to approach the celebration will have to be accepted by your guests. Typically, and especially after 50 years!, one of you could speak for both of you however it is acceptable for both to give a speech if you would like to. A point to note also is that as you have not planned the celebration I would expect your speech to be a “Thank you for organizing this party….etc” rather than anything further. I sense that you are worrying about this party and I am sure this is not what you children want; perhaps you could have a word with them now and tell them you are worrying they should be able to reduce your fears. Above all this is a celebration thrown on you & your Husband’s behalf and hence it should be enjoyable for yourselves. I hope you have a wonderful time and the celebration is appropriate.

Q We are about to attend a 50th wedding anniversary. We are distant relatives. We realize the 50th is gold. We are wondering about a gift. Do we need to take one? Does it have to be gold?

A. Firstly, an invitation does not imply a gift should be given, it is not expected, does the invitation give any clue, sometimes they say no gifts or similar, if not then within your family circle when similar events go on are gifts given?, is the event formal or informal? These may help answer your question on whether they would be expected. As it is the 50th and as you stated it is the Golden Anniversary this does not mean the gift has to be Gold it is
merely the symbol associated with the anniversary. Other gifts are available such as celebration glasses, personalized gifts etc. that indicate the anniversary and are not gold. Mementoes of the actually wedding are sometimes good or even a photographic history of their life since the marriage. My personal favorite especially for the major anniversaries is a bottle of fine wine or champagne bottled in the year they got married.

Q. According to protocol, should the children throw their parents a party for their 50th anniversary?

A. Typically the earlier years are organized by the couple themselves, as their children grow up then they may choose to organize a celebration for their parents.  It is not expected that siblings should organize a 50th wedding anniversary and can be organized by the couple or their children. The decision on whether to have a celebration, and what type is very much a personal decision based upon the family culture that exists.

Q My parents have a 50th wedding anniversary coming up.  There are 4 children in the family who might be involved in the planning.  Oldest, 2nd Oldest, Third Oldest, Youngest.  Who of the siblings is normally considered the “point person” for the organization?

A. Typically it would go to the person best suited to take the role on. This may depend on who could devote the time needed to organize the celebration.

Q. Would you normally expect that it is the children of the anniversary couple who would initiate a family celebration to honour their parents 40th anniversary?

A. A lot of children do instigate an anniversary celebration however it is not expected that they should do so.  As it is the couple’s celebration they have the choice whether to celebrate or not and can organize their event or allow their siblings to take the lead.